When I grew up
Having male friendships
Was less “who’d you kiss?”
And more stiff upper lip
Less feelings and shhhh
Wrestling was in
But after the bell rang
You kept your distance

I learned those lessons too well
Trying to be friends with a girl
Could be awkward as hell
You kept a lot less to yourself
Intimacy turned to interest
All in your head

Like, here’s a bunch of things
I felt but never said before
I’ve been using semaphore
Wish I had an editor
It takes practice to share
Without catching a vibe that’s not there

All this time that I was thinking
I was stuck up in the friendzone
But, honest question, was I just a
Really really bad friend?

All this time that I was thinking
I was stuck up in the friendzone
But, honest question, was I just a
Really really bad friend?

Friends don’t keep things
From friends
Friendships have rules
A bunch of things I never knew
Male friendships are comparatively simple
Let’s play hockey, let’s play ping pong

Let’s not be friends anymore
And never talk about it
Or let’s physically fight and get over it
Neither works well in relationships
I know it’s obvious
But I’ve gotta say it

I blame this miseducation
For personal failings
That I have displayed in them
And yeah, I’m not bad at ping pong
But I wish I wasn’t such a ding dong

All this time that I was thinking
I was stuck up in the friendzone
But, honest question, was I just a
Really really bad friend?

All this time that I was thinking
I was stuck up in the friendzone
But, honest question, was I just a
Really really bad friend?

Help me feel better now, ‘cause I am sad
Wanted to reach out to you so bad
But I know it’s not what you need
It would just be for me

Help me feel better now ‘cause I was wrong
Wanted to talk to you so long
But I know it’s not what you need
It would just be for me

All this time that I was thinking
I was stuck up in the friendzone
But, honest question, was I just a
Really really bad friend?

All this time that I was thinking
I was stuck up in the friendzone
But, honest question, was I just a
Really really bad friend?